quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
