what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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