just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
well I can't set my house on fire every night
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
