so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
