He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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