I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
A bitchslap is in order.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
