Nicole vs. Life
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
