Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
