dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize