talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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