Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
