they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I want to fling myself into the sun
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize