She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
