Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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