In America we eat man semen.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
