i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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