I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
