The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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