A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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