Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
