i love accidental penises.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We need a shit load of segways right now
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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