hotel room ftw
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This baby is an asshole
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
