We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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