Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
