also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
