i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
