its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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