I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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