I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he fucked my hip out of place.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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