You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You were trust falling into bushes
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
