How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
