Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
