A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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