this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
