Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize