Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
