so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
