I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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