home. puking in laundry basket.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
