It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
