I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize