you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
