hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
