16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Life is so much better after having sex.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
