...so i touched it.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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