Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i drank out of a bidet.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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