plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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