You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
