Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
