That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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