I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
