out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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