you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
