The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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