just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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