there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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