so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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