While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
