I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
