when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
