I'm eating all of the evidence.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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