Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Two words: blizzard sex
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
