Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
