btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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