I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
