He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
