why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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