I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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